Farewell

There comes a time when a girl must move on.
And the time has come in regards to this blog.

To be perfectly honest... Its not ME. Well, ok...it is. But its kind of a fake me.
I feel restricted in what I can say or do because I know people are watching. Real life people, people that possibly judge. Ok definitely people that judge but people that I care about judging... if you know what I mean.
This whole thing? Its not me. Its more like a veneer. A show.

Its all for others... and its exhausting!

This turned into a place where people came to see what was happening in my life, or our lives really. But you know what? If you want to know that stuff you should call me. Or chat to me on gmail or Facebook. You are all mostly added there anyway. You want to see pics of the kids? I can email them.

I debated sharing anything on the interwebs again but I need a place, a chunk of space that is just mine. Something for the selfish as all fuck fourteen year old girl in me. So I now have a Tumblr account, its not under this same user name - I've let that one go too. Its for pretty little things that catch my eye. Words, poems and pictures and make my brain tick and sing to me. And a home for my self portraits from the 365 project.

Follow me if you like. But don't bring your big girl judgy pants.

Its about me. The inside me. Not the mama me (well, probably that too because thats a huge chunk of me), but its most definitely the non work-safe me. I want to swear and I want to cuss. I want to have a place where I don't think.. oh shit I'm half naked in this picture because I feel comfortable with my body and my sexuality but OHMYGOD what is [instet name of relative] going to think, DOIEVENCARE? Shit.. Do I? Yes? No? ...Yes.'

But before I go I just want to say I'm doing ok and we are doing good. Thank you for your lovely comments, support and love after the miscarriage, especially to those of you who knew from the beginning and were there to cyber-pat my head and fill my head with noise to numb it out. Thankyou to all the D&B loves out there.

I have a wonderful little family, and a wonderful life ahead. The pain, once dulled, only makes that brighter.

xo.