A lifetime ago

I was trawling through my external hard drive today, looking for one of my favourite images (a picture of my fleur de lis tattoos), when I got stuck looking at a bunch of self portraits from a couple of years ago.

I have to say, it all seems like a lifetime ago.
And like another person (probably because I was trying to be).

It an odd sensation looking at them with fresh eyes because I can appreciate them more and for different reasons. Each self portrait was inspired by something, and most of my favorites, whether technically good photos or not, signify huge events or emotions that were going on at the time. I can remember exactly how I felt when I took each picture and processed it. I can remember why the lyrics they are so often named from were meaningful to me. I remember if I was crying, if I was happy or whether I was depressed. 

Anyway, thought I would share a few of my favs here:

"Boudoir"

First self portrait (although, its really nothing like me) I was really proud of... Even though I edited it like crazy trying to get the lighting etc right.

"Honestly"

This one means so freaking much to me. It was after my marriage had broke up and I felt like my world was falling apart. I had sat down to take a self portrait since I was doing 365days at the time and felt i had to and I ended up just sitting there sobbing for hours.

"The lovers tiff"

Looks darker and more sinister than it actually was. I decided to take a series of photos in which I killed myself within the picture. It was so much fun to do except the bathroom stunk of tomato sauce and soya sauce for about a week. My flatmate at the time also had some serious questions about why there was a knife and a bottle of sauce at the bathroom door when he got home.

"About you now"

I love this one for reasons I can't even begin to explain.

"A fond farewell"

The last picture I took before I really announced my pregnancy with Zander. I look so different now. So freaking destroyed. When i named it I knew my body would change, I jsut wasn't expecting it to be that much and that painful.

"The Enemy has won"
(Mint Chicks lyrics)
Took this at the beginning of my second round of 365 and a few days into taking medication to combat my depression. I felt like I was going nuts.

"Who knew"

Pink lyrics. It was ending and I knew it, I could see it. he didn't.