Last night I got woken up at 12:43, 1:35, 2:10, 3 something (this time i told Simon he needed to get up and deal with his children (!!!?$#@$%$&^%$##@*^$#!!), which he did, and then went back to sleep in seconds (bastard). 4:20ish and 5:30ish.

but last night, like every night, reaffirms why I do all of this.

Its simple, its that feeling I get when i tuck them in at night before I go to sleep myself. I go into ZJs room and plug the baby monitor in (checking no less than 3 times its plugged in properly and wont arc causing a fire (seriously)) then i reset him because he usually has a limb through a slat in the crib. He will then bunch up into a little ball with his bum in the air and I realise instantly how much he has grown that day. His curls are almost always sticky with something as i lean over and kiss him on his head. Then I go back to our room and gaze at Evie while she lays there with her arms up above her head, totally and utterly peaceful.

My babies, they are so beautiful.

Monday musings

1. Loved How I Met Your Mother this week. Especially this:
   Barney: "He has got to go, you need to be like you are the weakest link goodbye! Punchy, the tribe has spoken. Please pack up your knives and go. Your work of art, didn't work for me. You're times up. I have to ask you to leave the mansion. You must leave the chateau. Your tour ends here. You've been chopped! You've been evicted from the Big Brother house. Your desert just didn't measure up. Sashay away! Give me your jacket and leave Hell's kitchen! You did not get a rose. You have been eliminated from the race. You are no longer in the running to be America's Next Top Model. You're fired. Auf Wiedersehen."
   
2. I'm still get upset about washing spiders down the plug hole in the shower. Even massive omfg-what-did-you-eat-to-get-so-big!? spiders. Even though its mostly always an accident because I can't bear to physically do it. I remember reading a book somewhere that was talking about depression and how this chick's mother cried at everything, even news stories on tv and washing spiders down plugholes and thats how she knew there was something wrong with her. Does that mean I've been depressed all my life or can I gauge one's manic depressiveness on just how much one cries as a spider goes down the hole?
   
3. So, ZJ tried to burn the house down the other day. He managed to somehow reach his lamp and pull its head/bulb bit into the cot through the slats (its really narrow and its halogen so little tiny bulb) to rest on his mattress...and he turned it on and left it. Simon reckons it was about 3 seconds from bursting into flames by the time ZJ woke up and made enough noise for Simon to hear and go get him from his nap. There is now a huge burn mark on said mattress and everything that could possibly even remotely warm up has been unplugged and stored behind doors he cant open.
   
4. I just realised my son is two in just over 2 months. This scares me.

one year ago today

I cant believe how much he has grown and changed. It seems such a long time ago some days and then you realise just how many milestones there have been in that time and really, it wasn't that long ago at all.

Crisp morning sunrises

Oh, that light.

♥ list

Pretty Dragonfly mobile by KismetSunday on Etsy.

No idea where this comes from (possibly here?), but how cool is this book wall?!

 Pretty cool self portrait series by Heidi Lender.

Love this singlet by Mr Vintage.

 Loving this button necklace!

And while we are talking about them.. I love buttons! Especially in Jars!

Zombie Mamas

Guys... Guys!

I could seriously play a Zombie in a movie right now, they would only need to drench me in fake blood and I would seriously be ready for the role. I could be all like 'Grrr!Aaargghh!Raaahh!' with my hands out in front of me because that's basically how I am in real life anyway. I'm sure I have started communicating in grunts. And I'm a grump. OH MY GOD am I a grump. I could probably rip brains out easy as. I feel sorry for Simon. But even as I say that I'm resenting him and his man ears that manage to sleep through the babies tag teaming each other with their restless nights of sleep. And resentful of the fact he can stay up until god knows when playing Warcraft and still seem good to go in the mornings.

Sleep deprivation and me just don't go together good. We don't gel yo. I don't know how all y'all with babies who are not sleeping through at 21 months still manage to be such good mamas or, lets me honest, are even still alive because I would of downed a quart of vodka and some pills long ago if that was me.

YOU SHOULD SEE MY EYES. Every morning in the shower I have to scrub my mascara off my entire face with a facecloth because I've been too freaking tired at night to do it and its managed to go everywhere in the 8 hours I'm tossing and turning. There are also black lines all over my pillow and I really don't even care enough to wash it.

I could cope ok I reckon, if i didn't actually have to think during the day. Or be on my feet all day running back and forth and dealing with customers who think its a travesty that they have a 20 cent fine on their cards. (Sidenote: its weird how the dude with 20 cent fines are all like 'blahblahblah I'm not paying! you are ripping me off!!' and the ones with $20 fines are all like 'no worries, yo. Can I pay via visa?').
Also those of you who think librarians actually just sit and read all day are nutters. I have never been so rushed off my feet as I am at the library.

At work when I've had like 3 cups of Miloffees to fuel me they are all like 'how do you do it?!' and 'you seem so perky' and I'm like 'its the caffeine' and they praise me for being such a good mama and everything and I'm like 'I want to die. No really. because then I might rest.'

But then I get home. And I greet my baby girl and she gives me this huge wide grin that is exactly shaped like this --> :D, And ZJ runs over and hugs my legs and chatters away at me and Simon gives me a kiss on the forehead. I realise its all really really worth it and I probably wouldn't change a thing*.

*Well, unless obviously I had enough money to never work unless I wanted to and all that jazz :P

My Guy

He is so beautiful. Even when whiny.

Work the camera Baby!

monday musings

01: I am so obviously grown out of the Glassons clothing stage. Nothing fits. Its like it was all designed for skinny wee beanpoles that have no hips or stomachs. Even the stuff which is meant to be 'loose fitting' or whatever are icky.

02: Pet Hate: I hate hate hate people that correct spelling or grammar in books. Like Seriously hate.

The only people I hate more is those that put in long winded comments in PEN in the footers about how the information is wrong.  Get a life. (Psst! The picture is from the book is Lipstick Jihad btw).

03: My favourite words ever are 'nostalgia', 'noir' and 'oubliette'.

04: After looking at my last love list...I may, in fact, be a closet goth.  Troy has said it for years.

05: I'm getting super excited about Christmas this year. ZJ will almost be old enough to hype up about it and I'm really looking forward ot buying presents. Its been years since I've felt this way. Ontop of that I'm really looking forward to the warmer weather that comes with it.

Recently...

You have to read this post here, to understand why this moment is so special.


Evie helping me spend the last few days before work as happy ones.


The Sickness set in.


Apparently before these pics he had fallen asleep on his little blue chair while attempting breakfast.


Evie, her daddio and uncle Ju

Locket love!

I finally got one!
And now I get to wear my babies around my neck all day at work :)







also I love how everyone is like 'wow...is it a antique or heirloom or something?!' and I say 'nah, it was $15 bucks from Bling in Sylvia Park'.

♥ list

This is late, I know.. Its being a crazy shit (no pun intended) week in our house. Not only have I started back at work which has been zomgtiring, but all the boys came down with gastro to varying degrees. Fun! It was left to Evie and I to hold up the fort, but lets face it, a 3 month old is no help except for occasionally throwing out a smile/giggle to cheer us up. ZJ was hit the worst and I have never seen him so quiet and still....it was really unsettling and horrible to see him so unwell.

Its the weekend now though.. and we all seem to be recovering from the week with a little R&R. Hope your weekends are going well!

Love this awesome sign by Signsofvintage on Etsy.

Conviction by Katie West.

 This is a cute idea! Your child's artwork on a keyring. By Surfing Silver on Etsy.

Neat print I stumbled across. Girl with Umbrella by
Eddie Bryan Photo.

Cute wee book necklace by Anticovalore.

There is something just truly awesome
about this Skeleton Cameo Necklace