Beautiful girl

She always catches me with one of her big smiles at just the right time.

Yesterday this beautiful loved up couple came into the library, looking fresh yet like they just rolled out of bed after having sex all day. They had that look about them.. you know? Like they had just gotten dressed so they can get some coffee and supplies and had nothing planned except perhaps watching a movie or two, reading a bit before having an uninterrupted meal and going to bed again.
'You want a dvd or something to read baby?' he had said as he passed the desk. They wandered around the library, hand in hand, pointing out books on crafting and the new best sellers. 'I hate you' I grumbled under my breath.

I never get to read, and if I do its usually when i should be doing something else and I'm racked with guilt. I never get to stroll through anywhere hand in hand with my love, since one of us is generally chasing after a toddler dead set on destruction and the other is holding a baby who probably just puked all over her self.

I was thinking about those two this morning, mumbling to myself as I rolled out of bed at 6am for the 8th time since going to 'sleep' (ha!) at 11pm the night before. Evie had thought 10pm was a good time to play and be AWAKE! ...and also 1am, 2:30ish am, between 4-5am and now at 6am she was back at it, squee-ing and bouncing around in her cot. 6am, by all means was a sleep in for us, but I could help but think those two arty gorgeous creatures who didn't look tired AT ALL were probably cuddled up happily in slumber-land.

But then she smiled up at me as I look down into her cot, shes always such a happy baby and always in a good mood. It contagious, it makes everything ok again.

I think about when I feed her a bottle, its so special considering I hardly get a chance to do it. I love the night time bottle the most when I can hear the chaos outside and ZJ banging some toy against the coffee table. But we are sitting in the dark and cool. I have her in my arms and she looks up at me and catches me looking, she will smile and her eyes do this light up thing which makes my heart skip. Her little tiny fingers will curl around my finger and everything seems right, and in its place and that the 5am wakeup calls, the misery of working my arse off... its all worth it.

One of her smiles fixes everything.

Last night I got woken up at 12:43, 1:35, 2:10, 3 something (this time i told Simon he needed to get up and deal with his children (!!!?$#@$%$&^%$##@*^$#!!), which he did, and then went back to sleep in seconds (bastard). 4:20ish and 5:30ish.

but last night, like every night, reaffirms why I do all of this.

Its simple, its that feeling I get when i tuck them in at night before I go to sleep myself. I go into ZJs room and plug the baby monitor in (checking no less than 3 times its plugged in properly and wont arc causing a fire (seriously)) then i reset him because he usually has a limb through a slat in the crib. He will then bunch up into a little ball with his bum in the air and I realise instantly how much he has grown that day. His curls are almost always sticky with something as i lean over and kiss him on his head. Then I go back to our room and gaze at Evie while she lays there with her arms up above her head, totally and utterly peaceful.

My babies, they are so beautiful.

Zombie Mamas

Guys... Guys!

I could seriously play a Zombie in a movie right now, they would only need to drench me in fake blood and I would seriously be ready for the role. I could be all like 'Grrr!Aaargghh!Raaahh!' with my hands out in front of me because that's basically how I am in real life anyway. I'm sure I have started communicating in grunts. And I'm a grump. OH MY GOD am I a grump. I could probably rip brains out easy as. I feel sorry for Simon. But even as I say that I'm resenting him and his man ears that manage to sleep through the babies tag teaming each other with their restless nights of sleep. And resentful of the fact he can stay up until god knows when playing Warcraft and still seem good to go in the mornings.

Sleep deprivation and me just don't go together good. We don't gel yo. I don't know how all y'all with babies who are not sleeping through at 21 months still manage to be such good mamas or, lets me honest, are even still alive because I would of downed a quart of vodka and some pills long ago if that was me.

YOU SHOULD SEE MY EYES. Every morning in the shower I have to scrub my mascara off my entire face with a facecloth because I've been too freaking tired at night to do it and its managed to go everywhere in the 8 hours I'm tossing and turning. There are also black lines all over my pillow and I really don't even care enough to wash it.

I could cope ok I reckon, if i didn't actually have to think during the day. Or be on my feet all day running back and forth and dealing with customers who think its a travesty that they have a 20 cent fine on their cards. (Sidenote: its weird how the dude with 20 cent fines are all like 'blahblahblah I'm not paying! you are ripping me off!!' and the ones with $20 fines are all like 'no worries, yo. Can I pay via visa?').
Also those of you who think librarians actually just sit and read all day are nutters. I have never been so rushed off my feet as I am at the library.

At work when I've had like 3 cups of Miloffees to fuel me they are all like 'how do you do it?!' and 'you seem so perky' and I'm like 'its the caffeine' and they praise me for being such a good mama and everything and I'm like 'I want to die. No really. because then I might rest.'

But then I get home. And I greet my baby girl and she gives me this huge wide grin that is exactly shaped like this --> :D, And ZJ runs over and hugs my legs and chatters away at me and Simon gives me a kiss on the forehead. I realise its all really really worth it and I probably wouldn't change a thing*.

*Well, unless obviously I had enough money to never work unless I wanted to and all that jazz :P

The Eclair, 10 weeks old

Sometimes my heart gets so full of love looking at my kids that I feel like I'm about to explode. Seriously, all cheesiness aside - full on exploding brains and body matter across the walls.







So freaking cute!

Another sneak peak!

I got to photograph so beautiful babies yesterday! Here is a sneak peak of identical twins Tom & Harry...



And you might remember Tom & Harry's big sister Lucy, who was a brillant supporting star in her mama's maternity shoot a while back.



Absolutely loved photographing these people, they were all so lovely. Its days like that which make me wish I could do this as a full time gig. Maybe one day eh?

Sneak peak

A little sneak peak from the client shoot I did yesterday. Such a lovely and easy pair to photograph!





I processed these in a couple of different ways but can't decide which version I like the most (click on the image to go through to Flickr and see). Any opinions?

Also, Tracey is expecting twin boys and I get to photograph them once they arrive - so excited!

Meet Cooper!

A Little sneak peak from a shoot I did the other day. Such a sweet little baby!








P.S Sorry about the AWOL-ness lately! its been a busy and stressful month.

Little boys like to eat dirt and rocks

I have been dying to share these pictures from a client shoot a month or two back, but since the pictures were for a birthday present surprise, I didn't want to upload them to the internet just in case the birthday boy came across them somehow.

This was a fun and easy wee shoot, Zach got a bit sick of staying put and looking at a camera when all he wanted to do was little boy things such as eat rocks & dirt/explore/get the car keys etc etc but otherwise is was lots of fun.












Big big thanks to Anna for letting me share these with people!

Oh baby!!

I was lucky enough to have a photo shoot with this little cutie a week or two back and wanted to share a couple of the images.


I especially love the pouty face, so so cute!



Loving doing these baby photos! If you know of anyone who wants to get a few snaps done of their little ones - please please point them towards my current specials :)

Baby Book Worm

Book eater, originally uploaded by ♥ Lililly.

I brought this wonder of literacy (its called 'the Sicilians Virgin Bride' - awesome no!?) home to give a go. Not because I'm into romance - far from it. But the romance section in the library is my section to look after and really? who could resist a title such as that.

I got about 2 pages in before throwing it on the floor. I just can't handle reading books that have some much cliche chucked into 2 pages and characters that are named 'Rocco' and Franchesca'  Ew. I can understand everyone needs a bit of light reading but this is definitely not my kettle of fish. Saying that, people look at me like IM nuts when i read Sci-Fi or fantasy [crap] so each to their own.

ZJ had a good time nom-ing on it though so its not at all a wasted.

ANYWAY. I recently read in an article that you should try and read 1000 books to your babes before they are 5 (I'm a librarian and i didn't even know this) Woah!
Turns out its only like 1 book a day for 3 years so that's not really that bad at all but it sounds like alot, and as my partner said 'oh great so we still have a year and a half to get started' :P

But even the littlest of babes get good stuff out of being read to (that i knew :P) as much as the bigger babes.

Here are some of the benefits:
- helps babies develop their eye muscles by focusing on pictures
- exposes your child to new sounds, rhythms and language
- which also helps develop his/her language skills
- research shows that pre-school children who are exposed to plenty of language (books and conversation) tend to do better at school
- its very calming and often a great thing to incorporate into a bedtime routine
- its a fantastic way of introducing your child to something that could be a lifelong passion.
- You probably would cover subjects that may not come up in everyday life (good for the older ones!)
- and best of all, its a great way of bonding with your child. Which as the parent who goes to work everyday - very important to me.

Its amazing the sheer amount and types of books catered to littlies these days and most of these you will have free access to by joining your local library! (just a little plug for my profession there...)
My favourites to bring home to share with ZJ are the 'touch and feel' books (as they are obviously made to be chewed on and touched) and the ones that have pop ups or flaps that you can open.

We have a couple of doozies on floor at the moment which not only have a great story that rhymes (great for developing language) but have a game where you have to find the babe in the book's missing toy. When you do find it and lift the right flap, the noise of that item sounds. The duck kind of sounds like its been beaten over the head with a frying pan a bit, but ZJ gets the idea.

When ZJ was even smaller than he is now, and i was staying home with him, I used to just read to him out of the book I'm reading. It didn't matter about the content. It was calming for him to hear my voice and good for him and his language skills and also meant i could catch up on my reading!

So go on everyone, make sure you pick up a book and read it to your babe today...

Even if it is a crappy romance book where some silly yet stunningly beautiful (in an understated way) thing doesn't want to return home to her remarkably hansom and rich foreign husband :P

Confessions of a formula feeding mama

In my area of the world, and especially in the area of Auckland I work in, breast feeding is the norm and you are a bit of a social pariah if you don't do it. Which is a good thing really - it means I live in an environment that encourages the best way possible of feeding your child. Breast milk is the best sort of nutrition for your baby, its the perfect food and it does all sorts of wonderful stuff like adjust to the baby's needs and pass on antibodies to help fight of nasties, help fight crime and see in the dark.

Everyone around me breastfeeds, the women who come into my work all gather around in the children's area and feed their children. You see them on the Internet computers breastfeeding while catching up on emails. At the park, at the cafes down the road across from the beach (bit of a skite here, i really do work in such a beautiful area!) The women I work with told me their own breastfeeding stories. My family did it. The posters in all the doctors/midwives offices told of support lines, benefits and tips and tricks. Although there are formula ads on TV now and then, you only ever see them for the toddler milks, not for newborns etc.

People look down on people that don't breastfeed here. If you don't believe that, no offence but you are obviously a breast-feeder and never dealt with someone telling you over the counter at work how you are selfish, poisoning your child and ruining his life (yes - this has happened to me. Twice now).

So when i say i don't breastfeed and that I never once breastfed my child, don't think I made the decision lightly and do realise there must of been an important reason why I chose not to.

What I'm finding though as a formula feeding mum at just how little support there is for it. I know that all you breast feeding mums have said numerous times on all your blogs that you just need to google formula feeding and there are 49208342109 results. But seriously guys (and this may be just because I am a reference librarian and I'm trained to think this way) but at least 90% of what the Internet says is not true, come on. There is also things to take into consideration such as how old the information is and who it is giving the information.

How many blogs do you find about women who say 'yes i formula feed my child'. Hardly any. We don't have support groups or web rings or special banners on our blogs saying 'we are formula feeders! Lets unite!' Or at least if there any any they must be underground because for the life of me I can't seem to locate any and as previously mentioned, its my job to find things. There is a thick layer of guilt - no matter what the reasons for doing so - surrounding the formula feeding mother. Its like catholic guilt, it stays with you.

I can hear a chorus of 'well...breast feed then' raising round me right now. But sometimes you just can't, so don't start.

When i first decided to formula feed i had little support in choosing a type formula. Once you say you are going to formula feed its like everyone switches off and stops supporting you. I tried talking to my midwives and doctors and all i got was 'well a popular one is...' and that's it. Does popular actulally make it good? Or is it popular because i ton of uneducated mothers buy it? I had no idea what the difference, if any, there was between 'whey based' or 'cows milk based', what reflux stuff did or the pros and cons of iron fortified stuff and so on. Even when I HAD selected a formula when i went to their website to get more information all it said was 'breast is best - consult your doctor'. It was like going around in circles. You would think the formula company would give you solid information would you not?

It makes my heart heavy to read articles like this one, in which studies have shown more babies are dying because of lack of information to do with formula. Does this not show we are in desperate need of support?

At hospital (in which i had to stay for a number of days against my will thanks to my emergency C section, ergh) I was treated badly and bullied by the nurses to breastfeed almost everyday - even though I had instructions in my notes from doctors about formula) And then they kept trying to give ZJ less formula than he needed and as it was behind a locked door (not to mention i could hardly walk) I couldn't get to it myself. I was unable to have my own equipment or formula with me so they literally controlled everything. He would be crying in hunger, it was obvious that it was what he needed but they kept saying 'oh well he had 30ml 2 hours ago so he doesn't NEED more - the chart says so'. On the second to last day I was there my midwife found out that they were using a chart for babies using formula as a supplement. Ergh.

Luckily for me, after our lovely midwife broke us out of hospital early, and we were home, Zander took to our formula like a duck to water. He grew, he was full and he was happy. I made damn sure that each feed was a special bonding time for all of us, whether it was mum or dad feeding him. I would stare down into his huge eyes and smile, I would hold him against my bare skin to let him feel my warmth and smell my smell (this is pretty easy considering it was the hottest summer from hell ;)).

I was, and I am, lucky. He has been nothing but a dream to feed.... but there have definitely been times I could do with a little more understanding, a little more support. There needs to be less prejudice against those of us who do formulas feed. Contrary to popular belief - we aren't just a load of selfish cows who don't like our children.

There needs to be some sort of system where breastfeeding IS encouraged and supported in different ways (and honestly, i think our country, or at least my part of it, is pretty good on that level) but there also needs to be follow up for those who cannot or do not breast feed so that we can all raise our children to be happy and healthy little mites to the best of our abilities.

Is that really so much to ask for?

The Noob Parent Technique (NPT)

Hi, my name is Kate. I'm currently around 27 (i can't be sure though, i failed math in two countries) and I live in Auckland, New Zealand. I am a working mum (woohoo fun parent!) to a beautiful boy around 7 months old and my partner is a STAHD - and he loves it.

This is a blog all about us and little things that take my fancy (or cause me to rant). Its also dedicated to what we like to call our Noob Parenting Technique (NPT) way of life... in which we try not to sweat the small stuff or follow any set way of parenting and yet try not to screw up our child either.

NPT? WTF?

Let me explain.

Before I got pregnant, in fact - before I even had Zander, I had no idea about parenting styles. I actually didn't realise there could even be that many styles. Seriously. I had no idea what 'attachment parenting' meant or what the opposite of that is even called, what 'EC' stood for (and now I do, it still doesn't make sense to me), or what the 'cry it out method' was and why that wasn't flavour of the month with so many people yet our dear Plunket endorsed. I had no idea about co-sleeping or 'bed sharing' (and I actually didn't know these were two different things until about a week ago).

Forums posters would talk about their 'DS' or 'DD', how they were BF or [god forbid] FF, there was talk of BFOD, and EBM and now that the babes in our group are a bit older there is talk about 'BLW' their children. All I could do was sit there and go 'WTF?'.

I've since been educated on most of these things but I still feel like a Noob. But you know what? Ignorance was bliss.... I enjoy being a noob! I like the fact we don't have one set technique and feel happy to chop and change between a few. I don't pretend to be an expert on any way - I just know what works for us [right now] and honestly, we have a happy healthy gorgeous wee boy who is just a pleasure to take care of so i guess we must be doing something right.

So thats it, I hope you stick around.