At the park

Zander was in one of his screamy monster moods, so I took him for one on one time at the park. We played 'lets try and do self potraits while balancing the camera on some dirt' and then had a go on the seesaw and slide. He crawled through a tunnel and attempted to climb up the jungle gym.

Sometimes I look at him and my heart almost explodes. I made him. How could I make something so beautiful, something so worth every bit of stress and happiness i can muster up?

What is that quote about when you have children you heart is permanently on the outside? Thats me these days.

I chopped off the locks!

My hair was a third down my back.. but no more!



Also, it appears I cannot take a picture of myself anymore without looking like a total douche.

30 days of photos - Day 26: Something forever

Motherhood is forever. No matter whether your babes are small or grown, you are forever altered.

Celtic knot for motherhood.
Oh.. and its not a real tattoo... yet?

30 days of photos - Day 22: Something on your body

Non est ad astra mollis e terris via

30 days of photos - Day 21: A memory

30 days of photos - Day 16: Lyrics

I was going to do a new self portrait for this but I decided against it. Why? Because every song I have been listening too lately and have stuck in my head are mellow kinda depressing ones. Mostly because I find crooning songs better to edit photos too (seriously, do you edit photos to a certain flavour of music?? I cant do really upbeat stuff while post processing).

I can honestly say that nearly every single self portrait i have done in the past has been either named with lyrics or inspired by lyrics so i decided to pick an old one.. but it was hard to do!

I was trolling through them all tonight searching for one for this project and got stuck instead strolling down memory lane.  Then I came across this one, and laughed my ass off.

Back story to this? Aaron and I had only just broken up. I was home alone as Dave was out shagging his then psychopathic girlfriend (not the lovely one hes managed to snag now) and I was in a slump. Dude I was so freaking depressed and I just needed to have some fun so I created the series of pictures (where this one is from) called 'When the flatmate is away..' and went a bit nuts with the music up loud and rocking my fishnets.



The music i was listening to? Seven by Vagiant. I was introduced the song by Jade in New Orleans and whenever I hear it i always end up jumping about and imagine us playing Rockband in our jammies drinking rum and being dorks. I remember the way she sang it. It was one of the first times I had actually heard her sing and she, seriously, can SING. Te song reminds me of how close Dave and I used to be, and how i thought I would seriously have to beat up his psychopathic girlfriend.

The song makes me happy and this picture makes me laugh my arse off. I really am a dick.

(oh and i miss my body! I thought i was hideously fat, waaah!!)

30 days of photos - Day 8: Scarred

An old one. no point reinventing the wheel here.
Having babies destroyed by body, but made me.

30 days of photos - Day 3: Happiness

Happiness is...



Cuddling in a warm bed with him. My child's face when he learns something new. My baby's tiny fingers and teeny weeny toes. Chocolate, wine gums and spicy food (not necessarily together). Crisp autumn mornings and sunny spring evenings. Yellow flowers and honeysuckles. Us.

Inked

I love that city so much, I got its symbol tattooed on my legs.

Now every time I get a glimpse of them I am reminded and smile.

A lifetime ago

I was trawling through my external hard drive today, looking for one of my favourite images (a picture of my fleur de lis tattoos), when I got stuck looking at a bunch of self portraits from a couple of years ago.

I have to say, it all seems like a lifetime ago.
And like another person (probably because I was trying to be).

It an odd sensation looking at them with fresh eyes because I can appreciate them more and for different reasons. Each self portrait was inspired by something, and most of my favorites, whether technically good photos or not, signify huge events or emotions that were going on at the time. I can remember exactly how I felt when I took each picture and processed it. I can remember why the lyrics they are so often named from were meaningful to me. I remember if I was crying, if I was happy or whether I was depressed. 

Anyway, thought I would share a few of my favs here:

"Boudoir"

First self portrait (although, its really nothing like me) I was really proud of... Even though I edited it like crazy trying to get the lighting etc right.

"Honestly"

This one means so freaking much to me. It was after my marriage had broke up and I felt like my world was falling apart. I had sat down to take a self portrait since I was doing 365days at the time and felt i had to and I ended up just sitting there sobbing for hours.

"The lovers tiff"

Looks darker and more sinister than it actually was. I decided to take a series of photos in which I killed myself within the picture. It was so much fun to do except the bathroom stunk of tomato sauce and soya sauce for about a week. My flatmate at the time also had some serious questions about why there was a knife and a bottle of sauce at the bathroom door when he got home.

"About you now"

I love this one for reasons I can't even begin to explain.

"A fond farewell"

The last picture I took before I really announced my pregnancy with Zander. I look so different now. So freaking destroyed. When i named it I knew my body would change, I jsut wasn't expecting it to be that much and that painful.

"The Enemy has won"
(Mint Chicks lyrics)
Took this at the beginning of my second round of 365 and a few days into taking medication to combat my depression. I felt like I was going nuts.

"Who knew"

Pink lyrics. It was ending and I knew it, I could see it. he didn't.

Cultivation

A small weird growth

An outtake from another project's idea (Divine Diptych - which you will see later in the week). But I kinda liked it, in its complete and utter weirdness.

I like that its against my scarred to death belly, even though the marks are more or less silver now, in b&w you can see them again. I don't mind them anymore - really, they are the results of growing a beautiful little creature, and I really can't find fault with that.

That...and I've bagged myself a man, so what do I care? ;)

A work colleague saw this picture of me, taken shortly after I had ZJ and found a painting/postcard thing that looked like earthy roots in blues and browns and this picture reminds me of that alot.

Divine Diptych Project - Week 7 - Exotic Goddess

I've just started participating in the Divine Sisterhood diptych project, where each week ladies pair up from the group to create diptychs. Each pari is given a 'theme' for their partnership and ours this week was 'Exotic goddess'. I had SO MUCH fun with this. I forgot what it was like to spend some ime to myself, taking pictures and editing them. I'm super excited to participate in the future.

 Left: Kerrie

Right: Kate

The original shot:

Inferno - lust.

Inferno - lust., originally uploaded by ♥ Lililly.

A reworked selfie for a new project I'm doing - a collection of prints based on 'Dante's Inferno. This one is inspired by Dante’s Inferno second ring of Hell – Lust.

It is said that those banished to the second ring of hell will be blown around by a violent storm, which symbolises how lust blows one around needlessly and aimlessly.

Ode to the pregnant belly

Thought I would share a pic or two from a couple of maternity shoots I've done in the last few months as well as a couple of my favourite selfies from my own pregnancy with Zander.

I really love doing maternity photography and I would definitely say if I was to become a full time pro photographer that would be where my passion would lay (along with the odd kiddo shot). There is something awesome about bringing out the beauty of pregnancy and I think its important for every woman who has gone through this/or is going through this to be made to feel special and beautiful.

I myself felt so out of control of my body and almost scared of its changes while I was pregnant with Zander and so photography and self-portraiture during that time really was a type of therapy for me.

I am currently offering my services for maternity photography at a reduced rate - this is to help me get in the practice as well! Pay only a $50 sitting fee (please note this is for Auckland area only) and for any print you may want. Print prices start at 60 cents 15x10cm print and go up $47 for a 50x60 cm poster. Digital files are sold for $15 per file and give you unlimited printing rights.
If you don't want any prints or files, thats fine as well.

Etsy love

Been adding quite a few prints and posters to my Etsy shop - check it out!