Monday, December 28, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Its finally starting to feel like christmas for me over here in little old NZ.
The weather is hot and sunny. Today is christmas eve and I think most people have already escaped Auckland for summer baches down the coast, and so driving around feels like of nice instead of the usual stress it is on the average day.
after visiting some old workmates (who were the skeleton crew on, dressed in shorts and jandals and looking pretty casual) at one of my old haunts I stopped at the supermarket to get some food for the christmas lunch we are having at work.
The place was PACKED.
It took me 43 minutes of waiting in a queue to finally get to the checkout (might I add, busting to go to the loo so it felt more like 1 hr and 43 minutes). But the mood was kinda cheery with everyone in the line chatting away, telling of their christmas plans and generally just being good spirited. The food in everyone's trolleys looked so good. King prawns, cherries, punnets of strawberries exploding everywhere, cheeses and crackers and not to mention old favourites at christmas like christmas pies, cakes and champagne!
Work is busy busy busy, with lots of people (the ones still left in Auckland that is) coming in and getting what books there ARE left on the shelves - which is actually not much now, we are down the dregs - to take away with them over the christmas new years period.
For me I only get 4 days off but wow I'm looking forward to them!
Merry christmas everyone! Hope you have a wonderful break.
The weather is hot and sunny. Today is christmas eve and I think most people have already escaped Auckland for summer baches down the coast, and so driving around feels like of nice instead of the usual stress it is on the average day.
after visiting some old workmates (who were the skeleton crew on, dressed in shorts and jandals and looking pretty casual) at one of my old haunts I stopped at the supermarket to get some food for the christmas lunch we are having at work.
The place was PACKED.
It took me 43 minutes of waiting in a queue to finally get to the checkout (might I add, busting to go to the loo so it felt more like 1 hr and 43 minutes). But the mood was kinda cheery with everyone in the line chatting away, telling of their christmas plans and generally just being good spirited. The food in everyone's trolleys looked so good. King prawns, cherries, punnets of strawberries exploding everywhere, cheeses and crackers and not to mention old favourites at christmas like christmas pies, cakes and champagne!
Work is busy busy busy, with lots of people (the ones still left in Auckland that is) coming in and getting what books there ARE left on the shelves - which is actually not much now, we are down the dregs - to take away with them over the christmas new years period.
For me I only get 4 days off but wow I'm looking forward to them!
Merry christmas everyone! Hope you have a wonderful break.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Being the secondary parent
When ZJ was first born and Simon went back to work, I was the primary caregiver - I knew everything that was going on with him. I would record all of the amounts of formula he was drinking in my diary, know exactly how long he had slept for, how many dirty nappies he had and when he did something new.
Just after ZJ turned 3 months old and my maternity payments dried up, Simon and I swapped places so that he became the primary caregiver and I went back to work. This decision was made for a few reasons - 1. I earned more. Alot more...enough to live off one income. 2. Simon hated his job whereas I loved mine, and 3. Because we wanted to have a stay at home parent instead of putting the babe in daycare, those other two reasons just fit together and made sense with this one.
It was bizarre at first. I was the baby expert. I did the research, knew what, where how and when with ZJ and had gotten him into a fantastic routine. Simon had always been a hands on dad - especially the first couple of weeks when i was recovering from my labour AND c section so he wasn't a complete noob, infact he was quite a natural at it, but I think swapping places was hard on us both to begin with.
I felt horridly guilty for going back to work so soon, even with Simon staying home. It didnt help that i was constantly bullied for that (and my non breastfeeding decision of course) by all the crunchy parents i have contact with during the day. It seems crunchy parenting is the new black and god forbid if you are not one of the crowd.
Self confidence wise it caught me off guard alot too. As the 'Mum' i feel its my duty to know every single detail if ZJ's day and i feel odd that I don't. I feel as the 'Mum' i should be the primary caregiver and be the expert on my child. So it feels bizarre when i say to Simon 'Should I put him down for a nap?', or 'Is it ok to feed him this now?' and 'what do you think I should do?'. It goes against all my instincts and feelings and i hated not being in control.
Then there is also the problem of lack of sleep for me. Just because Simon is the primary caregiver doesn't mean he has 'mommy ears'. If ZJ even makes a snuffle I am wide awake. It got better when he moved to his own room and when we put the baby monitor on a little quieter... but it can still cause problems.
Nowadays though, it all runs pretty smoothly. We have a good routine set and we stick too it. It makes us all happy and feel secure I think.
Simon is a fantastic stay at home dad and its obvious he loves it. He doesn't mind the lack of adult company - which is good considering there are not too many stay at home dad groups - infact i think he kind of thrives on it. He actually worried about me changing my mind and wanting to swap again I think. I thrive at work, I enjoy going every day, growing my career and doing something new. I enjoy the special time i get with my son when i get home and the last feed of the day (most of the time, when ZJ is cooperating :P) when i get to snuggle with him before he goes to sleep. On weekends we usually let each other have a sleep in day and it gives me time to spend with my son as well, or recoup from the business if its my turn.
I know it wouldn't of worked for us if I had continued to stay home or if we both worked full time (i think we would be far too exhausted to enjoy life) and I'm glad we broke out of the norms and did something a little different as the results have been so so worth it.
Just after ZJ turned 3 months old and my maternity payments dried up, Simon and I swapped places so that he became the primary caregiver and I went back to work. This decision was made for a few reasons - 1. I earned more. Alot more...enough to live off one income. 2. Simon hated his job whereas I loved mine, and 3. Because we wanted to have a stay at home parent instead of putting the babe in daycare, those other two reasons just fit together and made sense with this one.
It was bizarre at first. I was the baby expert. I did the research, knew what, where how and when with ZJ and had gotten him into a fantastic routine. Simon had always been a hands on dad - especially the first couple of weeks when i was recovering from my labour AND c section so he wasn't a complete noob, infact he was quite a natural at it, but I think swapping places was hard on us both to begin with.
I felt horridly guilty for going back to work so soon, even with Simon staying home. It didnt help that i was constantly bullied for that (and my non breastfeeding decision of course) by all the crunchy parents i have contact with during the day. It seems crunchy parenting is the new black and god forbid if you are not one of the crowd.
Self confidence wise it caught me off guard alot too. As the 'Mum' i feel its my duty to know every single detail if ZJ's day and i feel odd that I don't. I feel as the 'Mum' i should be the primary caregiver and be the expert on my child. So it feels bizarre when i say to Simon 'Should I put him down for a nap?', or 'Is it ok to feed him this now?' and 'what do you think I should do?'. It goes against all my instincts and feelings and i hated not being in control.
Then there is also the problem of lack of sleep for me. Just because Simon is the primary caregiver doesn't mean he has 'mommy ears'. If ZJ even makes a snuffle I am wide awake. It got better when he moved to his own room and when we put the baby monitor on a little quieter... but it can still cause problems.
Nowadays though, it all runs pretty smoothly. We have a good routine set and we stick too it. It makes us all happy and feel secure I think.
Simon is a fantastic stay at home dad and its obvious he loves it. He doesn't mind the lack of adult company - which is good considering there are not too many stay at home dad groups - infact i think he kind of thrives on it. He actually worried about me changing my mind and wanting to swap again I think. I thrive at work, I enjoy going every day, growing my career and doing something new. I enjoy the special time i get with my son when i get home and the last feed of the day (most of the time, when ZJ is cooperating :P) when i get to snuggle with him before he goes to sleep. On weekends we usually let each other have a sleep in day and it gives me time to spend with my son as well, or recoup from the business if its my turn.
I know it wouldn't of worked for us if I had continued to stay home or if we both worked full time (i think we would be far too exhausted to enjoy life) and I'm glad we broke out of the norms and did something a little different as the results have been so so worth it.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Learning new tricks
ZJ has been pulling himself up onto his knees for basically as long as he could crawl. But yesterday he figured out getting onto his feet means his reach for things on the coffee table/bookshelf/TV stand etc etc was just so much better.
It amazes me how quickly these little creatures learn a new trick. One day they will be like, 'nah can't be bothered with that rubbish' and then the next they will be 'please, i mastered that hours ago, onwards!'.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Some people in the world just make me lol
Before you read the rest of this post, please watch this video:
Right, so what did you get from that?
Expected sappy blah that jewelery ads usual are right?
I kinda went 'awe' but I was in a sappy kind of mood at the time. I thought the dude saying i love you to his wife of the table and the look on her face was kinda sweet and the guy feeding his bub in the rocking chair...well I think there is nothing hotter than i guy feeding a baby but that is just me and well... i digress.
The reason this video came to my attention was that it was featured on the Fearless Formula Feeder blog... because some lactavist over at BirthActivist had had a bit of a fit over it. "...I was outraged within seconds when it showed a mom leaning over an empty crib while dad bottle fed a baby in the background. I mean come on, wouldn’t it be better to give mom a diamond for breastfeeding? Or even as a push present? But this was just sad. If you’re as outraged as I am, you can write them..." she wrote.
Uhm, lolwut?
I mean seriously you guys, there is being passionate about breastfeeding, and there is being a bit of a nazi about it too, but really... this just goes to a whole other level. This is just kinda crazy in my eyes. Over all the crap (and there is alot of it, even i have to admit that) you can get upset about Lactavists, this isnt it.
I was so glad to see no one really backed her up on this rant.
But i put it out to the world, what did you get from that ad? Did you think it was worth getting upset about? Do yuo think we SHOULD jump on ads like this more or do you think people need to settle down a bit and just see the ad for what it is...advertising?
Right, so what did you get from that?
Expected sappy blah that jewelery ads usual are right?
I kinda went 'awe' but I was in a sappy kind of mood at the time. I thought the dude saying i love you to his wife of the table and the look on her face was kinda sweet and the guy feeding his bub in the rocking chair...well I think there is nothing hotter than i guy feeding a baby but that is just me and well... i digress.
The reason this video came to my attention was that it was featured on the Fearless Formula Feeder blog... because some lactavist over at BirthActivist had had a bit of a fit over it. "...I was outraged within seconds when it showed a mom leaning over an empty crib while dad bottle fed a baby in the background. I mean come on, wouldn’t it be better to give mom a diamond for breastfeeding? Or even as a push present? But this was just sad. If you’re as outraged as I am, you can write them..." she wrote.
Uhm, lolwut?
I mean seriously you guys, there is being passionate about breastfeeding, and there is being a bit of a nazi about it too, but really... this just goes to a whole other level. This is just kinda crazy in my eyes. Over all the crap (and there is alot of it, even i have to admit that) you can get upset about Lactavists, this isnt it.
I was so glad to see no one really backed her up on this rant.
But i put it out to the world, what did you get from that ad? Did you think it was worth getting upset about? Do yuo think we SHOULD jump on ads like this more or do you think people need to settle down a bit and just see the ad for what it is...advertising?
Sunday, November 29, 2009
This time last year
Its amazing how images can summons up so many feelings.
This image reminds me of the last couple of months of my pregnancy.
When i see this image I remember vividly how i felt.
I was hot and I was huge..... And I was ZOMG uncomfortable.
The weather had already turned quickly into summer like heat and with my growing body I felt like I was close to having heat stroke the entire day.
I was swollen.
I had to give up work early because I couldn't handle being on my feet all day. I hated that, I resented it because I felt like some sort of failure, I really felt terrible for not working through Christmas like I said i would. It didn't matter that my boss knew I would end up having to finish early, it didn't matter that everyone knew, before I did, that I would finish earlier than I was supposed to.
This image reminds me of all the hopes and dreams i had for my unborn child. I would spend hours thinking about what he would be like. What it would feel like to touch him and smell him.
I wondered what he would look like, what colour his hair would be, what colour would his eyes turn out to be. Would he look like me? Would he be ok?
I barely even thought about labour to be honest -only that i wanted it to hurry up and be over so I didn't have to feel so crap all day and I would have my baby in arms.
It reminds me of how jealous i was that it was cold on the other side of the world!
This image reminds me of all that. it all hits me in the space of a second.
I love it.
I stumbled across the lovely little lady who took this picture in these last horrid hot days.
She was due to give birth to her little girl around the same time as me and i was drawn to her by her identical to mine stretchmarked belly with the same little freckle at the top!
Even though thats where our similarities end, she has touched my life dramatically with her positivity and optimism (something i severely lack!), the way she thinks about parenting and her ability to find beauty in things I just don't see. A strong breastfeeding avocate, she even supported our journey of formula feeding from the sidelines when others didn't.
Anyway, enough blabberjabbing, this print along with a few other favourites of mine, are up for sale on Etsy and I think you should check them out.
This image reminds me of the last couple of months of my pregnancy.
When i see this image I remember vividly how i felt.
I was hot and I was huge..... And I was ZOMG uncomfortable.
The weather had already turned quickly into summer like heat and with my growing body I felt like I was close to having heat stroke the entire day.
I was swollen.
I had to give up work early because I couldn't handle being on my feet all day. I hated that, I resented it because I felt like some sort of failure, I really felt terrible for not working through Christmas like I said i would. It didn't matter that my boss knew I would end up having to finish early, it didn't matter that everyone knew, before I did, that I would finish earlier than I was supposed to.
This image reminds me of all the hopes and dreams i had for my unborn child. I would spend hours thinking about what he would be like. What it would feel like to touch him and smell him.
I wondered what he would look like, what colour his hair would be, what colour would his eyes turn out to be. Would he look like me? Would he be ok?
I barely even thought about labour to be honest -only that i wanted it to hurry up and be over so I didn't have to feel so crap all day and I would have my baby in arms.
It reminds me of how jealous i was that it was cold on the other side of the world!
This image reminds me of all that. it all hits me in the space of a second.
I love it.
I stumbled across the lovely little lady who took this picture in these last horrid hot days.
She was due to give birth to her little girl around the same time as me and i was drawn to her by her identical to mine stretchmarked belly with the same little freckle at the top!
Even though thats where our similarities end, she has touched my life dramatically with her positivity and optimism (something i severely lack!), the way she thinks about parenting and her ability to find beauty in things I just don't see. A strong breastfeeding avocate, she even supported our journey of formula feeding from the sidelines when others didn't.
Anyway, enough blabberjabbing, this print along with a few other favourites of mine, are up for sale on Etsy and I think you should check them out.
A love list
♥ Little fingers & little toes
♥ A peaceful house to ourselves
♥ Warmer weather, sunshine and love
♥ Strawberries
♥ Baby claps
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Love List
♥ ZJ's 'Chrunchy Scrunchy' face (above :))
♥ Quiet mornings to sleep in
♥ Big smiles and baby claps when I come home from work
♥ Early nights reading in bed
♥ The feeling I get when all the chores are done
Backlit
This photo was taken just for entering in the NZFM Monthly project - Window light.
I usually don't take selfies with a project or absolute specific idea in mind, as I find they just never work out how I expect or how I want them to. In a way in kinda of cramps my style.
So really I'm trying to push that side of things more, especially with my Dante's Inferno set I'm creating.
Anyway, back to this picture....
I am in two minds about this one, I like the lighting on my back ALOT. Also nice seeing my tattoo again, its been a while :P
My hair and arm on the left looks all weird though. Its like my hair has been through a crimping iron or something.
...and has my butt always been that big?
Oy vey.
I usually don't take selfies with a project or absolute specific idea in mind, as I find they just never work out how I expect or how I want them to. In a way in kinda of cramps my style.
So really I'm trying to push that side of things more, especially with my Dante's Inferno set I'm creating.
Anyway, back to this picture....
I am in two minds about this one, I like the lighting on my back ALOT. Also nice seeing my tattoo again, its been a while :P
My hair and arm on the left looks all weird though. Its like my hair has been through a crimping iron or something.
...and has my butt always been that big?
Oy vey.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Something I should point out
After that last post.
I'm not just pro formula feeding... although it sounds like I am only that and nothing else.
Just like I'm not pro breastfeeding.
I'm pro doing whatever feels right.
If that means you pulling out your boob and feeding your baby that way, have a seat and let me grab you a glass of water and a nursing pillow. Of your are putting a bottle in your baby's mouth instead? Well same goes.
I'm not just pro formula feeding... although it sounds like I am only that and nothing else.
Just like I'm not pro breastfeeding.
I'm pro doing whatever feels right.
If that means you pulling out your boob and feeding your baby that way, have a seat and let me grab you a glass of water and a nursing pillow. Of your are putting a bottle in your baby's mouth instead? Well same goes.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Baby proofing
Our kitchen area and computer areas are now completely cut off from the lounge (its kind of open plan) thanks to some ranch slider sized baby blocking devices. We also got a gate for the hall/stairs to the garage and also another ranch slider sized blocker that we can use on the double entrance doors (or for the deck stairs if we want to let him crawl out there).
It would be nice if they were more gate like so we didn't have to step over them... but we can take them down at night easily so its no biggy, they are thin enough to slide behind the couches. The system works well :D
Its nice to have our junk out and know its not going to a. harm him in any way or b. get nom nomed on.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Inferno - lust.
A reworked selfie for a new project I'm doing - a collection of prints based on 'Dante's Inferno. This one is inspired by Dante’s Inferno second ring of Hell – Lust.
It is said that those banished to the second ring of hell will be blown around by a violent storm, which symbolises how lust blows one around needlessly and aimlessly.
It is said that those banished to the second ring of hell will be blown around by a violent storm, which symbolises how lust blows one around needlessly and aimlessly.
Hang in there babe!
In the style of the lovely Miss Fawn, a Love List:
♥ Snuggles and cuddles
♥ Baby chortles and giggles
♥ Playing peekaboo through the cot rails
♥ Reading together
♥ Sunny and crisp spring afternoons
♥ Snuggles and cuddles
♥ Baby chortles and giggles
♥ Playing peekaboo through the cot rails
♥ Reading together
♥ Sunny and crisp spring afternoons
Monday, October 26, 2009
Inspiration 02 - Colour: Black
Ok so black is not really a colour (...is it?) but there is nothing like a stunning black and white image.
Here are a few that stood out to me from my contacts on Flickr:
Why can't we all just get along?
Why can't we all just get along?
Why can't we all just support each other?
Why can't we just all be informed of the pros and cons and get on with it?
Short answer is obviously a resounding "no".
I would never suggest a mum go feed her babe via breast in a bathroom. Ew! I know what i do in there and it aint that hygienic! I'm so glad that that crap (excuse the pun?) doesn't happen here. I'm glad to see mums in our library feeding their babes at the computers and in the children's area and outside on the benches. I don't understand why people [in other countries] get upset at seeing a woman breastfeed.
BUT the same goes on the flip side. I don't understand why breast feeding advocates attack me for formula feeding. Why do they have a go at me over the counter at work? (No, I wont let that go because it honestly was hideous). Why do pro breast feeders go on formula feeding support posts and write nasty comments or just go on and on about the benefits of breast feeding and harp on about 'breast being best'.
Seriously? Like we don't know that?
Breast is best has been shoved down my throat since the second i conceived. There are posters everywhere. When i try to look up information on the formula i'm planning on giving my child all it says is that 'breast is best" and "consult your doctor", who then shrugs and doesn't give me any advice. My plunket nurse all but attacked me when I told her there was formula in the bottle I was feeding ZJ. I'm bullied at work about it by patrons who imply that I'm a bad mother.
How am I not supposed to get a little sensitive and feel upset about that all that? How am I supposed to feel confident as a mama? How do I NOT feel guilty when all i get is the spiel? Don't try and tell me that any guilt i feel is just because I know I'm doing the wrong thing. Its because of people like you who wont stop telling me I'm a terrible person.
Ergh. Im angry.
Why can't we all just support each other?
Why can't we just all be informed of the pros and cons and get on with it?
Short answer is obviously a resounding "no".
I would never suggest a mum go feed her babe via breast in a bathroom. Ew! I know what i do in there and it aint that hygienic! I'm so glad that that crap (excuse the pun?) doesn't happen here. I'm glad to see mums in our library feeding their babes at the computers and in the children's area and outside on the benches. I don't understand why people [in other countries] get upset at seeing a woman breastfeed.
BUT the same goes on the flip side. I don't understand why breast feeding advocates attack me for formula feeding. Why do they have a go at me over the counter at work? (No, I wont let that go because it honestly was hideous). Why do pro breast feeders go on formula feeding support posts and write nasty comments or just go on and on about the benefits of breast feeding and harp on about 'breast being best'.
Seriously? Like we don't know that?
Breast is best has been shoved down my throat since the second i conceived. There are posters everywhere. When i try to look up information on the formula i'm planning on giving my child all it says is that 'breast is best" and "consult your doctor", who then shrugs and doesn't give me any advice. My plunket nurse all but attacked me when I told her there was formula in the bottle I was feeding ZJ. I'm bullied at work about it by patrons who imply that I'm a bad mother.
How am I not supposed to get a little sensitive and feel upset about that all that? How am I supposed to feel confident as a mama? How do I NOT feel guilty when all i get is the spiel? Don't try and tell me that any guilt i feel is just because I know I'm doing the wrong thing. Its because of people like you who wont stop telling me I'm a terrible person.
Ergh. Im angry.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Feeding little Noobs
Baby Sunday Roast - mushed up!
I love making baby food.
There is something about the ritual that just calms me each Monday afternoon. I love washing and peeling (which is odd because i actually despise peeling in any other situation) and preparing the veggies for cooking. I love the way the kitchen fills up with steam from the pots boiling and the smells that waft around. Then there is the special something that calls to my anal retentive Virgo self when it comes to doling out the portions into little containers for freezing.
I especially love knowing that I'm making fresh good food for my little one to eat everyday*.
To begin with we were just cooking different fruit and veggies separately and feeding them to ZJ one thing at a time. This was to make sure there were no major allergies and because it was interesting to see him taste different things and see his reactions. Now that he has the hang of the whole eating thing we have started combining flavours and textures and making wee nutritious meals for him.
Here are two of our most used combos at the moment.
Baby Sunday Roast
1 medium Kumara
1/4 pumpkin
3 carrots
Chop into small cubes and roast/boil/steam until soft and mash to desired consistency.If boiling - save the excess juices. This is great for adding back to veges that need more moisture when mashed (such as potatoes!) or add back to mix slowly while mashing if you want a more pureed consistency.
To really make a 'roast' meal out of it, add some chopped up roast chicken to the mix.
This one apparently also works great for adding to baby cereal or porridge.
Pear and Banana Mush
3 pears
2 bananas
Steam or boil the pears until soft, mash the banana and mix together once cool.
Both recipe amounts together feed ZJ for about a week, so its pretty cheap too!
I stumbled across this great blog a while ago called Feeding Little Foodies which has some pretty neat recipes on there. I can't wait to try the cumin sweet potato chips!
*Especially since Im one of those selfish cows who poisions their kids with formula and all.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Gone are the days
Gone are the days when our shopping cart consisted of only sugary, salted, processed to the eyeballs kit meals and chocolate. Now our cart contains more fruit, veggies and fresh meat than i would of eaten in 3 months before. Our weekly treat consists of a couple of bottles of coke that will last us the week or..if we are feeling particularly naughty (and our budget allows it) we will get a apple and apricot crumble.
Gone are the days when we used to chuck away the 4cents a litre petrol coupons we got with our supermarket dockets. Now I scrummage through the rubbish for them if I think there is any chance i accidentally threw one in there.
Gone are the days when we would buy food stuffs just to throw it away a week later. Everything gets used in this house.
Gone are the days when, even though the cupboards were full of junk, we would just go to Wendys and buy up large.
Gone are the days when I used to buy packet biscuits. The man makes far better and tastier (not to mentioned less processed to the eyeballs as above) - and more importantly CHEAPER - treats.
Gone are the days where i would wander the village to buy some extremely expensive sandwich or sushi. I allow this treat once a week tops and it comes out of my Lady's Nice Things Fund.
These days, we scrimp and scrounge and save as much as possible. We use up those coupons. We shop for good deals and if something is on special we will buy more of it and save the next week. I buy nappies in bulk online. Never before has my fruit bowl been full of stuff i actually eat and never before has the items in my vegetable bin in the fridge been actually USED.
But I've never eaten better, been happier or been healthier than i am right now.
Gone are the days when we used to chuck away the 4cents a litre petrol coupons we got with our supermarket dockets. Now I scrummage through the rubbish for them if I think there is any chance i accidentally threw one in there.
Gone are the days when we would buy food stuffs just to throw it away a week later. Everything gets used in this house.
Gone are the days when, even though the cupboards were full of junk, we would just go to Wendys and buy up large.
Gone are the days when I used to buy packet biscuits. The man makes far better and tastier (not to mentioned less processed to the eyeballs as above) - and more importantly CHEAPER - treats.
Gone are the days where i would wander the village to buy some extremely expensive sandwich or sushi. I allow this treat once a week tops and it comes out of my Lady's Nice Things Fund.
These days, we scrimp and scrounge and save as much as possible. We use up those coupons. We shop for good deals and if something is on special we will buy more of it and save the next week. I buy nappies in bulk online. Never before has my fruit bowl been full of stuff i actually eat and never before has the items in my vegetable bin in the fridge been actually USED.
But I've never eaten better, been happier or been healthier than i am right now.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Confessions of a bad parent
I have a bit of a crush on Nigel Latta. Ever since he charmed me while I watched one of his Non Politically Correct Parenting Show and he spoke about how intense 'Boob Nazis' are and information about formula feeding at antenatal classes is hidden away like cheap porn.
He made me laugh, and most importantly - he made me feel normal and that I might just be doing an ok job.
Today i stumbled across this article he wrote for Listener magazine and thought i would share it.
I just love his no fuss, no muss outlook on parenting.
...Plus, he have me LOL-ing all through my lunch hour with the Road Runner story :P
He made me laugh, and most importantly - he made me feel normal and that I might just be doing an ok job.
Today i stumbled across this article he wrote for Listener magazine and thought i would share it.
I just love his no fuss, no muss outlook on parenting.
...Plus, he have me LOL-ing all through my lunch hour with the Road Runner story :P
Sunday, October 11, 2009
The Fearless Formula Feeder!
I woke up to such a lovely thing this morning.
No, not ZJ crying his head off at 2, 3 and 4am (at which point i dragged him into bed with us) who is nursing his very first real cold.
But two lovely comments on my post confessions of a formula feeding mama which I wrote a while ago.
When i wrote that post way back when i was terrified. Terrified of all the nasty comments and hate mail i was sure to get (and did) terrified that my lovely breast feeding mama contacts out there would dis me (and probably did) so it was really nice to see two gorgeous comments from two lovely people.
On top of that, it also pointed me in the direction of a great blog The Fearless formula Feeder and i can't even begin to express how wonderful it was to see it. To see someone so like minded and far more able to articulate it that i ever could.
I'm gushing aren't I?
But... SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS!
Here is a couple of favourite excerpts that totally sums up how i feel.
No, not ZJ crying his head off at 2, 3 and 4am (at which point i dragged him into bed with us) who is nursing his very first real cold.
But two lovely comments on my post confessions of a formula feeding mama which I wrote a while ago.
When i wrote that post way back when i was terrified. Terrified of all the nasty comments and hate mail i was sure to get (and did) terrified that my lovely breast feeding mama contacts out there would dis me (and probably did) so it was really nice to see two gorgeous comments from two lovely people.
On top of that, it also pointed me in the direction of a great blog The Fearless formula Feeder and i can't even begin to express how wonderful it was to see it. To see someone so like minded and far more able to articulate it that i ever could.
I'm gushing aren't I?
But... SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS!
Here is a couple of favourite excerpts that totally sums up how i feel.
"As I've said before, my stance is ardently pro-breastfeeding - when it is right for mom and baby. I don't see supporting formula feeders as hurting the rights of my breastfeeding sisters. I would be happy to campaign on your behalf - I would gladly attend a nurse-in and flash my non-lactating breasts in support of you all (hell, I have flashed them for far less noble causes) - but the extreme faction of your group has alienated me to a point where I feel like I need to equally militant to defend my formula feeding sisters. It's like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but over milk instead of land. (Although isn't that "the land of milk and honey"? Hmm...)"
(from Why it is not irresponsible to support formula feeding mothers.)
"But I do think this study brings up an interesting point. Breastfeeding advocacy is great, but at what cost? Where should we draw the line between supporting women who want to nurse, and alienating those who don't?"
(from A dangerous side effect of Bottlefeeding guilt.)
"Why was I so excited to find this piece? To start, the writer, Jennifer Graham, is the first person I've seen that considers the choice element in all of this craziness. I still can't understand how the same people who want laws off their body when their child is in utero can turn around and insist that laws be put back on our bodies once that kid is out. For the record, I am ardently pro-choice, but I hate hypocrisy, and I am finding a lot of it in what I once considered "my camp". Strange bedfellows, indeed."
(from is Formula the New Cigarette)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Baby Book Worm
I brought this wonder of literacy (its called 'the Sicilians Virgin Bride' - awesome no!?) home to give a go. Not because I'm into romance - far from it. But the romance section in the library is my section to look after and really? who could resist a title such as that.
I got about 2 pages in before throwing it on the floor. I just can't handle reading books that have some much cliche chucked into 2 pages and characters that are named 'Rocco' and Franchesca' Ew. I can understand everyone needs a bit of light reading but this is definitely not my kettle of fish. Saying that, people look at me like IM nuts when i read Sci-Fi or fantasy [crap] so each to their own.
ZJ had a good time nom-ing on it though so its not at all a wasted.
ANYWAY. I recently read in an article that you should try and read 1000 books to your babes before they are 5 (I'm a librarian and i didn't even know this) Woah!
Turns out its only like 1 book a day for 3 years so that's not really that bad at all but it sounds like alot, and as my partner said 'oh great so we still have a year and a half to get started' :P
But even the littlest of babes get good stuff out of being read to (that i knew :P) as much as the bigger babes.
Here are some of the benefits:
- helps babies develop their eye muscles by focusing on pictures
- exposes your child to new sounds, rhythms and language
- which also helps develop his/her language skills
- research shows that pre-school children who are exposed to plenty of language (books and conversation) tend to do better at school
- its very calming and often a great thing to incorporate into a bedtime routine
- its a fantastic way of introducing your child to something that could be a lifelong passion.
- You probably would cover subjects that may not come up in everyday life (good for the older ones!)
- and best of all, its a great way of bonding with your child. Which as the parent who goes to work everyday - very important to me.
Its amazing the sheer amount and types of books catered to littlies these days and most of these you will have free access to by joining your local library! (just a little plug for my profession there...)
My favourites to bring home to share with ZJ are the 'touch and feel' books (as they are obviously made to be chewed on and touched) and the ones that have pop ups or flaps that you can open.
We have a couple of doozies on floor at the moment which not only have a great story that rhymes (great for developing language) but have a game where you have to find the babe in the book's missing toy. When you do find it and lift the right flap, the noise of that item sounds. The duck kind of sounds like its been beaten over the head with a frying pan a bit, but ZJ gets the idea.
When ZJ was even smaller than he is now, and i was staying home with him, I used to just read to him out of the book I'm reading. It didn't matter about the content. It was calming for him to hear my voice and good for him and his language skills and also meant i could catch up on my reading!
So go on everyone, make sure you pick up a book and read it to your babe today...
Even if it is a crappy romance book where some silly yet stunningly beautiful (in an understated way) thing doesn't want to return home to her remarkably hansom and rich foreign husband :P
I got about 2 pages in before throwing it on the floor. I just can't handle reading books that have some much cliche chucked into 2 pages and characters that are named 'Rocco' and Franchesca' Ew. I can understand everyone needs a bit of light reading but this is definitely not my kettle of fish. Saying that, people look at me like IM nuts when i read Sci-Fi or fantasy [crap] so each to their own.
ZJ had a good time nom-ing on it though so its not at all a wasted.
ANYWAY. I recently read in an article that you should try and read 1000 books to your babes before they are 5 (I'm a librarian and i didn't even know this) Woah!
Turns out its only like 1 book a day for 3 years so that's not really that bad at all but it sounds like alot, and as my partner said 'oh great so we still have a year and a half to get started' :P
But even the littlest of babes get good stuff out of being read to (that i knew :P) as much as the bigger babes.
Here are some of the benefits:
- helps babies develop their eye muscles by focusing on pictures
- exposes your child to new sounds, rhythms and language
- which also helps develop his/her language skills
- research shows that pre-school children who are exposed to plenty of language (books and conversation) tend to do better at school
- its very calming and often a great thing to incorporate into a bedtime routine
- its a fantastic way of introducing your child to something that could be a lifelong passion.
- You probably would cover subjects that may not come up in everyday life (good for the older ones!)
- and best of all, its a great way of bonding with your child. Which as the parent who goes to work everyday - very important to me.
Its amazing the sheer amount and types of books catered to littlies these days and most of these you will have free access to by joining your local library! (just a little plug for my profession there...)
My favourites to bring home to share with ZJ are the 'touch and feel' books (as they are obviously made to be chewed on and touched) and the ones that have pop ups or flaps that you can open.
We have a couple of doozies on floor at the moment which not only have a great story that rhymes (great for developing language) but have a game where you have to find the babe in the book's missing toy. When you do find it and lift the right flap, the noise of that item sounds. The duck kind of sounds like its been beaten over the head with a frying pan a bit, but ZJ gets the idea.
When ZJ was even smaller than he is now, and i was staying home with him, I used to just read to him out of the book I'm reading. It didn't matter about the content. It was calming for him to hear my voice and good for him and his language skills and also meant i could catch up on my reading!
So go on everyone, make sure you pick up a book and read it to your babe today...
Even if it is a crappy romance book where some silly yet stunningly beautiful (in an understated way) thing doesn't want to return home to her remarkably hansom and rich foreign husband :P
My crawling big boy
Long time no update.
I know I know...
But we have been busy!
In the last week ZJ has learned to crawl backwards.
Yes thats right...backwards, not forwards... but crawling none the less.
<3 my little boy.
I know I know...
But we have been busy!
In the last week ZJ has learned to crawl backwards.
Yes thats right...backwards, not forwards... but crawling none the less.
<3 my little boy.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Moving day
Thats right, the NPT means you don't use car seats, you just put him in a box with his toys and close the lid.
The move went pretty smooth considering! ZJ has also settled into his own room rather well, and he doesnt seemed fazed at all. I was expecting (and prepared mentally for) all sorts of anxiety issues, him having some kind of seperation anxiety... but no, nada. Not a smidgen of it. It seems he knows that we might not be close by but if he needs us we come running so thats good.
Mama on the other hand is dealing with a good dose of paranoia. In the last two days I have imagined everything from someone breaking into his room and hurting him to a fire in the house and not being able to get to him.
But wow, i dont know if its because I'm exhausted at the end of the day or whether its because hes not in the room with us and i can't here him sighing and snuffling, but man i slept good! (after the paranoia has subsided enough for me to sleep that is :P).
The move went pretty smooth considering! ZJ has also settled into his own room rather well, and he doesnt seemed fazed at all. I was expecting (and prepared mentally for) all sorts of anxiety issues, him having some kind of seperation anxiety... but no, nada. Not a smidgen of it. It seems he knows that we might not be close by but if he needs us we come running so thats good.
Mama on the other hand is dealing with a good dose of paranoia. In the last two days I have imagined everything from someone breaking into his room and hurting him to a fire in the house and not being able to get to him.
But wow, i dont know if its because I'm exhausted at the end of the day or whether its because hes not in the room with us and i can't here him sighing and snuffling, but man i slept good! (after the paranoia has subsided enough for me to sleep that is :P).
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Inspiration 01
Starting from today I am starting an 'Inspiration pics of the week'. A collection of images that have caught my eye in one way or another and inspire me :)
This weeks theme? Women! There are so many talanted Self Portrait Artists - here are just a few of my favourites. This is no way all of them and its a completely random pick :)
The noobs guide to baby equipment?
I have had a few people about to have babies or are thinking about it, asking me lately 1. how I manage to have a baby that sleeps so well and 2. if you don't want to buy a whole lot of baby paraphernalia - what are some things that we have found the most useful?
The sleeping thing? I'm going to leave that miracle marvel (because short answer - thats what it is) to another post.
but to answer question number two, here is the man and Is list of top 10 items we found we needed or we couldn't live without.
1. it kinda goes without saying, but clothes for the babe.
Saying that, if you are having a baby shower - don't bother buying ANYTHING until after it. Seriously. I didn't buy anything before out of general laziness and confusion and it turned out to be a good thing because we were inundated with gorgeous little soft (omg how soft are new baby clothes?) cutesy items. Also we have a good friend who drops of a bag full of her latest two nephew's castoffs almost religiously each 3 months. The awesome thing about baby clothes is that they literally don't wear them more than a couple of times. Until they start eating solids and getting [inset veggie/fruit etc of choice here] all over themselves they dont even really get them dirty. They can go through about 5 babes before they even start to look worn :P
BUT if you dont have this as an option, here are my cannot live without items:
Whether cloth or disposable. My mother gave us one ofthe best gifts of 300 disposable newborn nappies before ZJ was born. We didnt have to worry about trying to buy them for ages and it was fabulous. We also buy bulk from Nappies Direct and it means we never run out.
3. A whole load of bassinet-ish sheet sized blankets things.
This seems random, but again, one of the best presents we got (thanks mum) was two big bags (about 30 in total) of these sized sheets/blankets. You can buy them used off Trade-me etc or even just cut up old sheets to around that size. These are fantastic for everything, we use them as burp clothes, for using as a bib type thing when feeding, the cuddlier ones for his bed, for SWADDLING (awesome for newborns), for putting on the floor for him to sit on, for changing him on...seriously everything.
4. A baby sleeping bag.
When ZJ decided that swaddling wasnt that fantastic anymore and it was getting colder, this turned out to be our lifesaver. Its fantastic because he cannot kick it off meaning hes not waking up constantly because hes cold. Its also great used with the next item on the list...
5. A Safe T Sleep - www.safetsleep.com
My sister bought me one of these as she swore by them for all three of her kids. She used them right from a newborn so they were used to it but we found it more useful when we transitioned ZJ into his cot (from his rather small bassinet). I think it helped him feel snug and safe but it also prevents him from rolling around and getting tangled up - which has been the livesaver part now hes all into rolling around. The more paranoid parent (and who isnt really?) can safety pin bedsheets to it so they cannot ride up over the baby's face as well.
6. A sling or babywearing device.
You can make a cheap 'moby' type one by just buying a couple of metres of material. Great for getting stuff done with a newborn, breastfeeding on the run (or so im told) and soothing babes.
7. A baby monitor.
Can be expensive but worth it. If your lucky get one off a friend or family member who is done with is. We were given a used one and it is is great for my paranoia.
8. A fold up stroller.
We have a beautiful huge pram that is real fancy and is all four wheel drive and all - which is great for the wetlands next to our house but not great for shopping and things like that because its not easy to fold up and transport. So a fold up one that you can preferably undo one handed.
9. A bouncer.
Buy used - we were given an old used one and its fabulous - ZJ is 7 months old and loves to bounce in it still, its a perfect little chair for him to sit in.
10. And from my own experience, if you do formula feed - the right equipment.
The sleeping thing? I'm going to leave that miracle marvel (because short answer - thats what it is) to another post.
but to answer question number two, here is the man and Is list of top 10 items we found we needed or we couldn't live without.
1. it kinda goes without saying, but clothes for the babe.
Saying that, if you are having a baby shower - don't bother buying ANYTHING until after it. Seriously. I didn't buy anything before out of general laziness and confusion and it turned out to be a good thing because we were inundated with gorgeous little soft (omg how soft are new baby clothes?) cutesy items. Also we have a good friend who drops of a bag full of her latest two nephew's castoffs almost religiously each 3 months. The awesome thing about baby clothes is that they literally don't wear them more than a couple of times. Until they start eating solids and getting [inset veggie/fruit etc of choice here] all over themselves they dont even really get them dirty. They can go through about 5 babes before they even start to look worn :P
BUT if you dont have this as an option, here are my cannot live without items:
- All in ones - the ones with legs, feet and long sleeves type are AWESOME for everyday wear, sleeping in and keeping warm. Who wouldn't want to wear PJs all day?
- Onsies - sleeveless or with are also great (and good for going under need the all-in-ones when its cold.
- Singlets - my babe was born in the height of summer due to his bassinet being around 30 degrees C all hours, realistically he spent most of his days and nights in no more than a singlet and a nappy. Yay no air con. But sleeveless onesies are just as good.
Whether cloth or disposable. My mother gave us one ofthe best gifts of 300 disposable newborn nappies before ZJ was born. We didnt have to worry about trying to buy them for ages and it was fabulous. We also buy bulk from Nappies Direct and it means we never run out.
3. A whole load of bassinet-ish sheet sized blankets things.
This seems random, but again, one of the best presents we got (thanks mum) was two big bags (about 30 in total) of these sized sheets/blankets. You can buy them used off Trade-me etc or even just cut up old sheets to around that size. These are fantastic for everything, we use them as burp clothes, for using as a bib type thing when feeding, the cuddlier ones for his bed, for SWADDLING (awesome for newborns), for putting on the floor for him to sit on, for changing him on...seriously everything.
4. A baby sleeping bag.
When ZJ decided that swaddling wasnt that fantastic anymore and it was getting colder, this turned out to be our lifesaver. Its fantastic because he cannot kick it off meaning hes not waking up constantly because hes cold. Its also great used with the next item on the list...
5. A Safe T Sleep - www.safetsleep.com
My sister bought me one of these as she swore by them for all three of her kids. She used them right from a newborn so they were used to it but we found it more useful when we transitioned ZJ into his cot (from his rather small bassinet). I think it helped him feel snug and safe but it also prevents him from rolling around and getting tangled up - which has been the livesaver part now hes all into rolling around. The more paranoid parent (and who isnt really?) can safety pin bedsheets to it so they cannot ride up over the baby's face as well.
6. A sling or babywearing device.
You can make a cheap 'moby' type one by just buying a couple of metres of material. Great for getting stuff done with a newborn, breastfeeding on the run (or so im told) and soothing babes.
7. A baby monitor.
Can be expensive but worth it. If your lucky get one off a friend or family member who is done with is. We were given a used one and it is is great for my paranoia.
8. A fold up stroller.
We have a beautiful huge pram that is real fancy and is all four wheel drive and all - which is great for the wetlands next to our house but not great for shopping and things like that because its not easy to fold up and transport. So a fold up one that you can preferably undo one handed.
9. A bouncer.
Buy used - we were given an old used one and its fabulous - ZJ is 7 months old and loves to bounce in it still, its a perfect little chair for him to sit in.
10. And from my own experience, if you do formula feed - the right equipment.
- Bottles - we have 6 250ml bottles - anything smaller is useless after 1-2 months, anything bigger is not really needed.
- Bottle brush - normal brushes don't cut the mustard.
- A microwave sterilizer - you dont need anything fancy like a huge machine to do it but boiling bottles in pots suck.
- a good sized container for putting the bottles in the fridge. I say this because our system is to sterlize the bottles, fill them with hot boiled water and then pop them in this container in the fridge. When we go to make a bottle we just fill it up to the right amount with hot water (and after a while you get skilled at leaving just the right amount of cold water in and getting the right temp straight away) and then adding the formula. its very quick and easy.
Packing
We are moving house next weekend and so far its been kind of stressful. I'm finding it difficult trying to juggle working full time, working part time as a photographer (have a wedding to shoot the weekend after next!) and getting stuff done when I am home.
Although, I have to say, packing has its upsides. For example we were sifting through some junk in the upstairs storage cupboard and I found this awesome jingle hat tucked away in a bag full of mardi gras beads.
ZJ wasn't so impressed with the find.
Here is is showing concern to his father. This hat, he reckons, is obviously not right.
And as if this was from another lifetime all together, this is the night the Jingle Hat was acquired. On the streets of New Orleans 2008.
(For those that don't know...I'm the one with pink hair, yes another lifetime ago!).
Anyway, I can't wait to be settled into our new place!
Although, I have to say, packing has its upsides. For example we were sifting through some junk in the upstairs storage cupboard and I found this awesome jingle hat tucked away in a bag full of mardi gras beads.
ZJ wasn't so impressed with the find.
Here is is showing concern to his father. This hat, he reckons, is obviously not right.
And as if this was from another lifetime all together, this is the night the Jingle Hat was acquired. On the streets of New Orleans 2008.
(For those that don't know...I'm the one with pink hair, yes another lifetime ago!).
Anyway, I can't wait to be settled into our new place!
More spring adventures!
Considering putting these up on Etsy as prints, but not sure yet!
I have been a busy bee lately and doing a bit of photography spring cleaning. I'm consolidating a couple of flickr accounts (my bulk and old Lililly account) into one new all-in-one ♥ Lililly!
So here i am spending what seems like hours trying to slowly build up my contacts list and faovurites again. Still its nice to start afresh with a clean page and with new eyes (not to mention minus a few horrid stalkery creeps!).
So if you haven't added my new account yet, make sure you do!
So here i am spending what seems like hours trying to slowly build up my contacts list and faovurites again. Still its nice to start afresh with a clean page and with new eyes (not to mention minus a few horrid stalkery creeps!).
So if you haven't added my new account yet, make sure you do!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
New toy adventures
After a long overdue visit to the bro and his gaggle of girls on the weekend, Simon, Zander and I were nursing a bad case of Toy Envy.
We realised, quite suddenly, that the Rabie has absolutely no interactive toys! Well I mean we have a rattle or 10 and I 'made' a toy by filling a bottle with coloured bits of foam and beads (yet another use for Mardi Gras beads!) so that he could lay on the floor and push it around and it would be semi ...fun or something.
But I mean the types of toy that a baby can twist, roll, bash and it does something nuts - you know, the ones that make weird noises that is supposed to be a turtle but really is not a turtle sound at all. The ones that can get on your nerves quickly with their irritating 'all the animals have something to saaaaay' singsong.
I guess we had both thought he might be still a little too young to get much enjoyment out of one of these things but 2 seconds on the ground of Kyle and Jody's lounge with his cousins pulling out all sorts of weird and wonderful contraptions and he was right into it. Bashing little pop-a-matic style things with coloured balls popping, spinning wheels of annoying singsongy plastic junk thingyames and generally having a great time trying to get all these bright things into his mouth to chew.
OMG it was fun to watch! We HAD to get one of these spinning wheels of annoying singsongy plastic junk thingyames for him to play with at home!
So we did.
And he LOVES it.
And now I'm sitting here with its stupid little diddy rattling around in my brain :(
We realised, quite suddenly, that the Rabie has absolutely no interactive toys! Well I mean we have a rattle or 10 and I 'made' a toy by filling a bottle with coloured bits of foam and beads (yet another use for Mardi Gras beads!) so that he could lay on the floor and push it around and it would be semi ...fun or something.
But I mean the types of toy that a baby can twist, roll, bash and it does something nuts - you know, the ones that make weird noises that is supposed to be a turtle but really is not a turtle sound at all. The ones that can get on your nerves quickly with their irritating 'all the animals have something to saaaaay' singsong.
I guess we had both thought he might be still a little too young to get much enjoyment out of one of these things but 2 seconds on the ground of Kyle and Jody's lounge with his cousins pulling out all sorts of weird and wonderful contraptions and he was right into it. Bashing little pop-a-matic style things with coloured balls popping, spinning wheels of annoying singsongy plastic junk thingyames and generally having a great time trying to get all these bright things into his mouth to chew.
OMG it was fun to watch! We HAD to get one of these spinning wheels of annoying singsongy plastic junk thingyames for him to play with at home!
So we did.
And he LOVES it.
And now I'm sitting here with its stupid little diddy rattling around in my brain :(
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Confessions of a formula feeding mama
In my area of the world, and especially in the area of Auckland I work in, breast feeding is the norm and you are a bit of a social pariah if you don't do it. Which is a good thing really - it means I live in an environment that encourages the best way possible of feeding your child. Breast milk is the best sort of nutrition for your baby, its the perfect food and it does all sorts of wonderful stuff like adjust to the baby's needs and pass on antibodies to help fight of nasties, help fight crime and see in the dark.
Everyone around me breastfeeds, the women who come into my work all gather around in the children's area and feed their children. You see them on the Internet computers breastfeeding while catching up on emails. At the park, at the cafes down the road across from the beach (bit of a skite here, i really do work in such a beautiful area!) The women I work with told me their own breastfeeding stories. My family did it. The posters in all the doctors/midwives offices told of support lines, benefits and tips and tricks. Although there are formula ads on TV now and then, you only ever see them for the toddler milks, not for newborns etc.
People look down on people that don't breastfeed here. If you don't believe that, no offence but you are obviously a breast-feeder and never dealt with someone telling you over the counter at work how you are selfish, poisoning your child and ruining his life (yes - this has happened to me. Twice now).
So when i say i don't breastfeed and that I never once breastfed my child, don't think I made the decision lightly and do realise there must of been an important reason why I chose not to.
What I'm finding though as a formula feeding mum at just how little support there is for it. I know that all you breast feeding mums have said numerous times on all your blogs that you just need to google formula feeding and there are 49208342109 results. But seriously guys (and this may be just because I am a reference librarian and I'm trained to think this way) but at least 90% of what the Internet says is not true, come on. There is also things to take into consideration such as how old the information is and who it is giving the information.
How many blogs do you find about women who say 'yes i formula feed my child'. Hardly any. We don't have support groups or web rings or special banners on our blogs saying 'we are formula feeders! Lets unite!' Or at least if there any any they must be underground because for the life of me I can't seem to locate any and as previously mentioned, its my job to find things. There is a thick layer of guilt - no matter what the reasons for doing so - surrounding the formula feeding mother. Its like catholic guilt, it stays with you.
I can hear a chorus of 'well...breast feed then' raising round me right now. But sometimes you just can't, so don't start.
When i first decided to formula feed i had little support in choosing a type formula. Once you say you are going to formula feed its like everyone switches off and stops supporting you. I tried talking to my midwives and doctors and all i got was 'well a popular one is...' and that's it. Does popular actulally make it good? Or is it popular because i ton of uneducated mothers buy it? I had no idea what the difference, if any, there was between 'whey based' or 'cows milk based', what reflux stuff did or the pros and cons of iron fortified stuff and so on. Even when I HAD selected a formula when i went to their website to get more information all it said was 'breast is best - consult your doctor'. It was like going around in circles. You would think the formula company would give you solid information would you not?
It makes my heart heavy to read articles like this one, in which studies have shown more babies are dying because of lack of information to do with formula. Does this not show we are in desperate need of support?
At hospital (in which i had to stay for a number of days against my will thanks to my emergency C section, ergh) I was treated badly and bullied by the nurses to breastfeed almost everyday - even though I had instructions in my notes from doctors about formula) And then they kept trying to give ZJ less formula than he needed and as it was behind a locked door (not to mention i could hardly walk) I couldn't get to it myself. I was unable to have my own equipment or formula with me so they literally controlled everything. He would be crying in hunger, it was obvious that it was what he needed but they kept saying 'oh well he had 30ml 2 hours ago so he doesn't NEED more - the chart says so'. On the second to last day I was there my midwife found out that they were using a chart for babies using formula as a supplement. Ergh.
Luckily for me, after our lovely midwife broke us out of hospital early, and we were home, Zander took to our formula like a duck to water. He grew, he was full and he was happy. I made damn sure that each feed was a special bonding time for all of us, whether it was mum or dad feeding him. I would stare down into his huge eyes and smile, I would hold him against my bare skin to let him feel my warmth and smell my smell (this is pretty easy considering it was the hottest summer from hell ;)).
I was, and I am, lucky. He has been nothing but a dream to feed.... but there have definitely been times I could do with a little more understanding, a little more support. There needs to be less prejudice against those of us who do formulas feed. Contrary to popular belief - we aren't just a load of selfish cows who don't like our children.
There needs to be some sort of system where breastfeeding IS encouraged and supported in different ways (and honestly, i think our country, or at least my part of it, is pretty good on that level) but there also needs to be follow up for those who cannot or do not breast feed so that we can all raise our children to be happy and healthy little mites to the best of our abilities.
Is that really so much to ask for?
Everyone around me breastfeeds, the women who come into my work all gather around in the children's area and feed their children. You see them on the Internet computers breastfeeding while catching up on emails. At the park, at the cafes down the road across from the beach (bit of a skite here, i really do work in such a beautiful area!) The women I work with told me their own breastfeeding stories. My family did it. The posters in all the doctors/midwives offices told of support lines, benefits and tips and tricks. Although there are formula ads on TV now and then, you only ever see them for the toddler milks, not for newborns etc.
People look down on people that don't breastfeed here. If you don't believe that, no offence but you are obviously a breast-feeder and never dealt with someone telling you over the counter at work how you are selfish, poisoning your child and ruining his life (yes - this has happened to me. Twice now).
So when i say i don't breastfeed and that I never once breastfed my child, don't think I made the decision lightly and do realise there must of been an important reason why I chose not to.
What I'm finding though as a formula feeding mum at just how little support there is for it. I know that all you breast feeding mums have said numerous times on all your blogs that you just need to google formula feeding and there are 49208342109 results. But seriously guys (and this may be just because I am a reference librarian and I'm trained to think this way) but at least 90% of what the Internet says is not true, come on. There is also things to take into consideration such as how old the information is and who it is giving the information.
How many blogs do you find about women who say 'yes i formula feed my child'. Hardly any. We don't have support groups or web rings or special banners on our blogs saying 'we are formula feeders! Lets unite!' Or at least if there any any they must be underground because for the life of me I can't seem to locate any and as previously mentioned, its my job to find things. There is a thick layer of guilt - no matter what the reasons for doing so - surrounding the formula feeding mother. Its like catholic guilt, it stays with you.
I can hear a chorus of 'well...breast feed then' raising round me right now. But sometimes you just can't, so don't start.
When i first decided to formula feed i had little support in choosing a type formula. Once you say you are going to formula feed its like everyone switches off and stops supporting you. I tried talking to my midwives and doctors and all i got was 'well a popular one is...' and that's it. Does popular actulally make it good? Or is it popular because i ton of uneducated mothers buy it? I had no idea what the difference, if any, there was between 'whey based' or 'cows milk based', what reflux stuff did or the pros and cons of iron fortified stuff and so on. Even when I HAD selected a formula when i went to their website to get more information all it said was 'breast is best - consult your doctor'. It was like going around in circles. You would think the formula company would give you solid information would you not?
It makes my heart heavy to read articles like this one, in which studies have shown more babies are dying because of lack of information to do with formula. Does this not show we are in desperate need of support?
At hospital (in which i had to stay for a number of days against my will thanks to my emergency C section, ergh) I was treated badly and bullied by the nurses to breastfeed almost everyday - even though I had instructions in my notes from doctors about formula) And then they kept trying to give ZJ less formula than he needed and as it was behind a locked door (not to mention i could hardly walk) I couldn't get to it myself. I was unable to have my own equipment or formula with me so they literally controlled everything. He would be crying in hunger, it was obvious that it was what he needed but they kept saying 'oh well he had 30ml 2 hours ago so he doesn't NEED more - the chart says so'. On the second to last day I was there my midwife found out that they were using a chart for babies using formula as a supplement. Ergh.
Luckily for me, after our lovely midwife broke us out of hospital early, and we were home, Zander took to our formula like a duck to water. He grew, he was full and he was happy. I made damn sure that each feed was a special bonding time for all of us, whether it was mum or dad feeding him. I would stare down into his huge eyes and smile, I would hold him against my bare skin to let him feel my warmth and smell my smell (this is pretty easy considering it was the hottest summer from hell ;)).
I was, and I am, lucky. He has been nothing but a dream to feed.... but there have definitely been times I could do with a little more understanding, a little more support. There needs to be less prejudice against those of us who do formulas feed. Contrary to popular belief - we aren't just a load of selfish cows who don't like our children.
There needs to be some sort of system where breastfeeding IS encouraged and supported in different ways (and honestly, i think our country, or at least my part of it, is pretty good on that level) but there also needs to be follow up for those who cannot or do not breast feed so that we can all raise our children to be happy and healthy little mites to the best of our abilities.
Is that really so much to ask for?
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